Love, Actually

Love, love, love. There are so many people falling in love
these days – and then falling right back out! Why? Why the heartache? Why the
pain? Why bother to fall in love at all, if it never lasts?




It turns out that we have this whole “love” thing backwards;
you meet someone, fall in love, and then have to learn how to love them through
their faults – how to love them during the hum-drum, everyday – how to love
them when they disappoint you. THAT is where most couples seem to flounder and
fail – when they have to learn to love beyond the passionate moments. What
makes that so wrong? After all, everyone has to learn in a marriage – you don’t
know it all when you say “I do.”




The problem with what the world calls “falling in love” is
selfishness. It’s all about how I can make someone fall in love with ME; how I
can attract someone to MYSELF; how I can act so he will want ME; what I can do
to get the most out of him, WITHOUT giving anymore of myself than possible. DO
you recognize any of this? Watch a few commercials, read the back of a
self-help book, or even just look at your internet homepage! I guarantee you
will find the subtle (if not down-right blatant) message that falling in love –
that romance – is all about YOU.




Obviously, the world has got this whole “falling in love”
thing all messed up. So, how do we get it right? How can you “have and hold, ‘til
death do you part?” How can we do love God’s way? We should view the whole love
process exactly opposite from what the world has been feeding us. We need to
love, BEFORE we “fall in love.” As Christians, we are supposed to love each
other as Christ loves us. Jesus didn’t take on the sins of the world because WE
loved him –No! He died so we can have a better eternity for having known Him;
so we can grow closer to Him, through His unconditional love for us. Yes, it
will all turn out for God’s glory, BECAUSE He loved us first (John 3:16). No, it’s not Christ’s actions that we are to
mimic toward our brothers and sisters in Christ, but rather the reason (or
cause) behind it all.




Could you imagine people loving you so much that they always
what was best for YOU, they always pointed you toward the Lord, they prayed for
you, and they would do anything they felt the Lord was leading, to make you a
better person? THAT would be loving like Christ! Have you ever had someone just
drop everything and come be with you during a tough time? Did you feel loved?
Have you ever had someone give up something (sleep, food, a favourite TV show,
etc.) so they could pray for you, uninterrupted? Did you feel loved? THAT is the
type of Christ-like love the Bible talks about – Giving of yourself for the
betterment of someone else.




Now imagine a marriage built on that sort of love! Do you
think it would ever die? [I’m NOT saying you should marry every/any person you
love! I am saying that we should always be looking for ways to love/love on our
brother and sisters in Christ.] Okay, so Christ-like love is the perfect
foundation for a marriage, but how do we build from the foundation to romance?
I’ll be honest – I don’t know HOW it happens. What I do know is that “falling
in love” with a person you already love is a much simpler learning process then
doing it the other way around! As the bride in Song of Solomon says – “do not
stir up or awaken love until IT so pleases.” [emphasis mine] Let your
relationship grow naturally from your Christ-love foundation! :)




Does this “love before you fall in love” approach actually
work? Yes, it does. In the past few years I have seen relationships that
started out based on Christ-like love, blossom and grow into beautiful
romances! Unfortunately, I have also witnessed relationships that were based on
the people falling in love (a crush), shrivel into pain when the every-day hit
them and their foundation didn’t hold up. Will you try to get what YOU can, for
yourself, out of the relationship? Or, will you be able to call your spouse “my
beloved, my friend?” Romance based on love for the other person – what a
revolutionary idea! :)

The Crucifixion

An Excerpt from “When God Weeps” by Steven Estes and Joni Eareckson Tada

“The face Moses had begged to see – was forbidden to see – was slapped bloody (Exodus 33:19-20). The thorns that God had sent to curse the earth’s rebellion now twisted around his own brow....

“On your back with you!” One raises a mallet to sink in the spike. But the soldier’s heart must continue pumping as he readies the prisoner’s wrist. Someone must sustain the soldier’s life minute by minute, for no man has this power on his own. Who supplies breath to his lungs? Who gives energy to his cells? Who holds his molecules together? Only by the Son do “all thongs hold together” (Colossians 1:17). The victim wills that the soldier live on – he grants the warriors continued existence. The man swings.

As the man swings, the Son recalls how he and the Father first designed the medial nerve of the human forearm – the sensations it would be capable of. The design proves flawless – the nerves perform exquisitely. “Up you go!” They lift the cross. God is on display in his underwear and can hardly breathe.

But these pains are a mere warm-up to his other and growing dread. He begins to feel a foreign sensation. Somewhere during this day and unearthly foul odor began to waft, not around his nose, but his heart. He FEELS dirty. Human wickedness starts to crawl upon his spotless being – the living excrement from our souls. The apple of his Father’s eye turns brown with rot.

His Father! He must face his Father like this!

From heaven the Father now rouses himself like a lion disturbed, shakes his mane, and roars against the shrivelling remnant of a man hanging on a cross. Never has the Son seen the Father look at him so, never felt even the least of his hot breath. But the roar shakes the unseen world and darkens the visible sky. The Son does not recognize these eyes.

“Son of Man! Why have you behaved so? You have cheated, lusted, stolen, gossiped – murdered, envied, hated, lied. You have cursed, robbed, overspent, overeaten – fornicated, disobeyed, embezzled, and blasphemed. Oh, the duties you have shirked, the children you have abandoned! Who has ever so ignored the poor, so played the coward, so belittled my name? Have you EVER held your razor tongue? What a self-righteous, pitiful drunk – YOU, who molest young boys, peddle killer drugs, travel in cliques, and mock your parents. Who gave you the boldness to rig elections, foment revolutions, torture animals and worship demons? Does the list never end? Splitting families, raping virgins, acting smugly, playing the pimp – buying politicians, filming pornography, accepting bribes. You have burned down buildings, perfected terrorist tactics, founded false religions, traded in slaves – relishing each morsel and bragging about it all. I hate, LOATHE these things in you! Disgust for everything about you consumes me! Can you not feel my wrath?”

Of course the Son is innocent. He is blamelessness itself. The Father knows this. But the divine pair have an agreement, and the unthinkable must now take place. Jesus will be treated as if personally responsible for every sin ever committed.

The Father watches as his heart’s treasure, the mirror-image of himself, sinks down into raw, liquid sin. Jehovah’s stored rage against humankind from every century explodes in a single direction.

“Father! Father! Why have you forsaken me?!”

But heaven stops its ears. The Son stares up at the One who cannot, who will not, reach down or reply.

The Trinity had planned it. The Son endured it. The Spirit enabled him. The Father rejected the Son whom he loved. Jesus, the God-man from Nazareth, perished. The Father accepted his sacrifice for sin and was satisfied. The Rescue was accomplished.”    

Don't move too quickly from this scene. Keep gazing.

 The Rescue was accomplished for you.

Infamous

                Osama bin Laden (will I ever forget how to spell that name?) is dead. His death is all over the internet, television, facebook, and even small town newspapers. Some people are celebrating, while others [Catholics] are praying for his soul. This is a historical event, to be sure, but no one really seems to know how to react.

    Yes, I am glad that Osama bin Laden is gone; but at the same time, I mourn for his soul. I regret that he made the decisions that led him to such a legacy of evil. In his quest to rid the world of infidels (jihad), he orchestrated the bombing of the World Trade Center (1993), the US Embassy in Kenya (1998), the USS Cole, the Twin Towers (2001), the Pentagon (2001) as well as the kidnapping and beheading of Daniel Pearl (a Wall Street Journal reporter) (2002) [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Osama_bin_Laden] and those aren’t even half of the atrocities he has accomplished, once you look into his militant terrorism in the Middle East. One person has pointed out that “at least his death will help provide closure for the families of his innocent victims.”

                Honestly, I believe his death will provide closure for more than just the families killed in Osama bin Laden’s jihad. I believe that every American over 18 (those who were in 3^rd grade on up, on 9-11) is a victim of Osama bin Laden. Surely you remember where you were on 9-11. We were all affected when the Twin Towers fell. Our lives haven’t been the same since; just look at the rising gas prices, go through airport security, look into the faces of women who have lost their sons, husbands, boyfriends, or fiancés to the American effort to free others from bin Laden’s tyranny and keep such terror at bay. I myself have lost a loved one to this cause. No, he’s not dead, but his desire to keep America free became his ultimate ambition, so he sent me to find someone who would be able to love me. Not all loses are the result of death.

                The war caused by Osama bin Laden’s actions has affected many of us, but the actual events will haunt us for decades to come. Who could forget the people jumping out of windows, the evacuation of schools, a man’s “Let’s Roll” last phone call to his wife, the smoke pouring out of the World Trade Center, watching it fall, knowing that there were still people inside – How could you forget? Should we forget?

                The man behind the horror is no longer in this world – his soul burns in hell. He cannot scheme anymore terrors for America. Should we rejoice in a safer world? Yes. Should we rejoice that someone is forever in hell? No. Jesus came so sinners like you, like me, like Will & Kate, and yes, even like Osama bin Laden, would not have to spend eternity in torment. Could you imagine the change in history, if someone had effectively shared the Gospel with the man who would become the most infamous terrorist of our time – Osama bin Laden?       

Have You Ever?

Have you ever gone to the mall and found the MOST ADORABLE dress? Sure, it was a little low in the neck-line, but who cares, right? Or is it right?


Original Dress from Deb



    This last week I did something like that. I went to the mall with the sole purpose of buying a RED dress. This dress was in response to a joke going around that I was threatening to become the "Baptist Nun." Catholic and Eastern Orthodox nuns wear black, so what would a protestant nun wear? Red, of course! The whole point was that I wasn't cut out to be a nun. So, I went to Deb and found this red dress:



Altered Dress

Obviously, it was too low in the front; not to mention that horrid rose on the top! But, not to worry! If you have an imagination, you can fix those kind of problems! I removed the rose, took it apart, and used it to go across the top/front a few times, then give it a double side strap. The dress ended up looking like this:

Now, please take note of something; this is a shot taken from above a young woman - what is missing? Think about it; what is usually present in almost any picture taken from above a girl? The answer to both questions is "bared cleavage." Yep, that's right! This young woman is nicely covered, and doesn't look tacky, grandma-ish, or "home-made." 

    You can look beautiful while staying modest! You don't have to stop buying cute shirts, just because they're a little low - just add a little matching material to the neck-line or wear a matching tank-top underneath. Almost any clothing can be "rescued" for modesty - you merely need to use your imagination! If it's cute, but you think it's beyond rescuing, then don't buy it! You'll save yourself lots of money, and you won't be tempted to wear it around the guys.

  Oh, what's wrong with wearing something "hott" around the guys? Well, watch this video to get a better understanding: http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=KLKZZWNX

   It is very important that we, as Christian women, help our men out in this area! Believe it or not, there are guys out there who are attempting to keep their minds pure before the Lord. Anything that hinders someone's walk with the Lord is called a "stumbling block."  Romans 14:13 says "Therefore let us... decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother." [ESV] If we wear clothing that will tempt a man's thoughts toward lust, then we are becoming stumbling blocks for him in his walk with Christ. Do you want to be charged with that, on the day of judgement? If you really love the guys in your life, you will never attempt to hinder their walk with the Lord, especially through the things you can control, like the way you dress.

    1 Timothy 2:9 charges us that "...women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control..." [ESV] Evidentially, God thought it was important enough to inspire someone to write it down in His Holy Word. 2 Timothy 3:16 & 17 tells us that "All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work." [ESV] If God has it in His book, that means it's very special, and should be taken seriously.

   So, to sum up - Modesty is a God-given command, you can look beautiful and be modest at the same time, and if you really love the men in your life, you won't purpose

Now you know - now you're responsible. 

Living Through It

Have you ever just been disappointed about the way something turned out? That just happened to me last night. I feel like my heart has been bruised - nothing is broken, but it still hurts. Thankfully, God had made sure that I would have a friend with me, when the "blows" came.

I am finding out, more and more, that "The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to Him." If it weren't for the truth in that statement, I probably wouldn't be writing this.

The Lord has made me strong, in Him, and I shall continue to use that strength. How else, could I live through life's disappointments and pain?

The Dance - Christian Living

God comes up and offers to dance with you [Himself as the gentleman, of course].

Will you take His offer? Yes.

He leads you out on to the dance floor.

Who will lead in the dance? You decide that He should, and

begin the dance in His arms.

But wait. Why should He lead? You see other couples

where He isn’t leading, and they seem to be doing just fine.

You trade roles (much to the pain in His eyes).

It just doesn’t work the same. Things are not going as they should.

You realize it’s because He’s not the one leading.

After some inner struggle, you let Him lead again.

Now it’s a beautiful dance! You are swept around the floor,

perfect in the Master’s arms, the envy of the world.

But, who is this, tapping on His shoulder, cutting in on your dance?

Will you be carried away in another’s embrace?

What could it hurt, for a little while? After all, it’s just fooling around.

This new man takes you to another part of the dance floor.

The music is different here.

You cannot do the dance that he requires of you,

and as you try, the more you remember how wonderful it was with Him.

You look to where He was left. He is no longer there!

In despair, you search the other couples for Him;

only to find Him behind this new man, tapping him on the shoulder.

He cuts in, and takes you back to where He knows you should be.

The dance continues, a beautiful, breathtaking experience!

The song is coming to a close, you can hear it in the music.

He puts you in a fantastical swing-dance type spin,

and ends at just the perfect moment, with a delicious dip.

The dance is finished. “Well done.”

Have I Told You Lately That I Love You by Van Morrison

Such a beautiful version of this song!

Patience

We are told to wait on You.

But, Lord, it seems as if there is no time.

My heart implores upon its knees,

"Hurry!... please."

~Ruth Bell Graham

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him." ~1 Corinthians 2.9 (NIV)



What is Peace?

Peace is not the absence of conflict; it is the absence of inner conflict.

"This is what peace is about - hearing God's voice, understanding His perspective, and moving closer to Him." ~Ruth Graham

Love and Singles on Valentine's Day

                Once again, Valentine’s Day approaches (this happens every year, so it shouldn’t be a surprise). For most women, it is a time of roses, romance, and chocolate. For most men, it’s a time to remember to buy the roses and chocolates, and think up a romantic way to give them. And then there’s us single people. What should Valentine’s Day mean for us?

                As a single woman, Valentine’s Day can be somewhat depressing: knowing that there will not be a bouquet of flowers from a special someone, or a romantic card expressing someone’s “deepest love” for me. (I know it’s sad, but don’t cry!) Even the grocery store gets on the bandwagon with red and pink hearts all over the store, banners with cutesy sayings about love, and discounted boxes of chocolates.

                I recently received an email concerning what children say about love. My personal favourite was by a little girl; “Love is when your eyelashes go up and down, and lots of little stars come out of you.” Now, I don’t know about you, but the last time I saw stars coming out of someone, it was because Bugs Bunny dropped an anvil on Wiley Coyote, NOT because of romance! It seems that our society has a difficult time defining love. There’s the I-really-enjoy-it-type of love (“I love this game”), the I-would-give-my-life-for-this-person-no-matter-what-they-do-type of love (agape), the Oh-my-goodness-he’s-so-hott-I-want-him-type of “love” (or lust, take your pick), the butterflies-in-your-stomach-type love (also known as a crush), and, of course, the romantic amoré (please imagine with a French accent) or philandros. We use the word “love” for all the above, but which one should we be most intent on? Sure, most of us think of the “amoré” when asked about love, but is that really what it’s all about?

                1 Corinthians, chapter 13 is usually cited as the “love chapter” and is read at weddings and marriage seminars. This chapter of the Bible describes love as “patient and kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.... And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”  What type of love was the apostle Paul talking about in this chapter? Surprisingly (considering where it’s usually read), he is not referring to the romantic [philandros] love but, rather, to the agape type of love.

                Hmmm.... it kind of makes you wonder, doesn’t it? God had Paul devote an entire chapter to the type of love that God has for us. Go ahead, read back through the verses. Isn’t that the way God loves each of us? It follows that, based on John 13:34 (yes, you get to look it up!), if GOD loves us that way, then we ought to love one another that way, as well.

                So, how does this information apply to us single people on Valentine’s Day?   First, it can serve as a reminder that we need to learn to love other people in the way God loves us BEFORE we can even think about loving them in a romantic sense. I will be the first to admit, it’s not easy ~ I want to be loved (romantically) NOW! But. But, how can I expect romance to last, if it not backed by the agape-type of love? So, application number one is to apply agape to everyone you know.

                The second application has to do with the loneliness we single ones are bound to experience on Valentine’s Day. After all, it can hit you a little hard; the fact that you don’t have someone to spend that special day with. Or do you? God has said “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” [Joshua 1:5] So we aren’t truly alone, even though it may feel like it at the time. Let me share a secret with you; no, no, come a little closer, I’m going to whisper it.

GOD LOVES YOU MORE THAN ANYONE ON EARTH EVER COULD. HE LOVES YOU MORE THAN ALL THE ROSES AND CHOCOLATES COULD EVER MEAN.

 

Some of the blue flowers.



What? You don’t think that God’s love can fill the lack-of-romance void? Let me tell you about something  ~ Last summer I felt rather alone. I still didn’t have a man in my life, and none of the good guys seemed to notice me as anything more than a sister in Christ (not that any of that has changed). Feeling kind of down, I walked into the field that holds my praying place. As I walked, I prayed, “Lord, I know that You are supposed to be sufficient for me, during this time of waiting, but I still feel so alone. God, I’ve never even received flowers from a man; I would love to have someone who would send me flowers.”  I continued walking through grass and around cactus as I prayed. Then I got to my praying place and looked; the entire space was filled with blue and yellow wildflowers, where there had only been grass a few days before! God was telling me that He really can fill every need that I have, all the way down to flowers! God has love letters and cards covered as well. All you have to do is read the book that He wrote for us (the Bible).

                God has been teaching me to lean on Him in my weakness (the longing for a husband), and you know what? When my focus is on God, I don’t feel alone ~ I feel blessed - loved – cherished. This single girl is going to spend Valentine’s Day in the arms of her loving Abba.



“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.”  ~2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Who am I?

In Sunday-school, a few weeks ago, the class was asked  if we had ever looked in the mirror, and contemplated “who am I?”.  My initial thought was “of course not, I have better things to do with my time,” but managed to answer the question to the teacher’s satisfaction. I have now had time to think about the question, and now present my answer:

“I do not NEED to contemplate who I am, because I know Whose I am and I dwell on that, and HE is sufficient.”  [2 Corinthians 3:5]

[Note: the question was probably not meant, by the Sunday-school curriculum, to be taken in the following way, although HOW it could expect us to come up with a different conclusion, based on the way the question is commonly asked in world we live in, is beyond me.]

Why do we feel like we need to know who we really are? Why this desire to connect with, find, and know our inner-self; this obsession with “how do I feel?” and the constant advice to “follow your heart.” Does not Jeremiah say “the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked, who can know it?” (Jeremiah 17:9 KJV) Even Paul struggles with finding anything good within his “flesh” (human nature.... as opposed to soul or spirit [Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance]) (Romans 7:18, NKJV).

 So why should we delve into ourselves? There is obviously no good to be found there. Why should we try to find out what is supposedly hidden deep within our selves? Maybe there’s a reason we have to search for, really think about it. As Christians, there should be no trace of our old ‘self’ (2 Corinthians 5:17); we should be new creations, in Christ! After all, Jesus said, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”[Luke 9:23, ESV] (emphasis, mine)

We, as Christians need to dwell less on who we are, and more on Whose we are. The more we cogitate on Jesus, the more we will become like Him (Ephesians 5:1-2), with the help of the Holy Spirit.
“I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings....Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.... I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal...for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”(Philippians3:10-14)