Once again, Valentine’s Day approaches (this happens every year, so it shouldn’t be a surprise). For most women, it is a time of roses, romance, and chocolate. For most men, it’s a time to remember to buy the roses and chocolates, and think up a romantic way to give them. And then there’s us single people. What should Valentine’s Day mean for us?
As a single woman, Valentine’s Day can be somewhat depressing: knowing that there will not be a bouquet of flowers from a special someone, or a romantic card expressing someone’s “deepest love” for me. (I know it’s sad, but don’t cry!) Even the grocery store gets on the bandwagon with red and pink hearts all over the store, banners with cutesy sayings about love, and discounted boxes of chocolates.
I recently received an email concerning what children say about love. My personal favourite was by a little girl; “Love is when your eyelashes go up and down, and lots of little stars come out of you.” Now, I don’t know about you, but the last time I saw stars coming out of someone, it was because Bugs Bunny dropped an anvil on Wiley Coyote, NOT because of romance! It seems that our society has a difficult time defining love. There’s the I-really-enjoy-it-type of love (“I love this game”), the I-would-give-my-life-for-this-person-no-matter-what-they-do-type of love (agape), the Oh-my-goodness-he’s-so-hott-I-want-him-type of “love” (or lust, take your pick), the butterflies-in-your-stomach-type love (also known as a crush), and, of course, the romantic amoré (please imagine with a French accent) or philandros. We use the word “love” for all the above, but which one should we be most intent on? Sure, most of us think of the “amoré” when asked about love, but is that really what it’s all about?
1 Corinthians, chapter 13 is usually cited as the “love chapter” and is read at weddings and marriage seminars. This chapter of the Bible describes love as “patient and kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.... And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” What type of love was the apostle Paul talking about in this chapter? Surprisingly (considering where it’s usually read), he is not referring to the romantic [philandros] love but, rather, to the agape type of love.
Hmmm.... it kind of makes you wonder, doesn’t it? God had Paul devote an entire chapter to the type of love that God has for us. Go ahead, read back through the verses. Isn’t that the way God loves each of us? It follows that, based on John 13:34 (yes, you get to look it up!), if GOD loves us that way, then we ought to love one another that way, as well.
So, how does this information apply to us single people on Valentine’s Day? First, it can serve as a reminder that we need to learn to love other people in the way God loves us BEFORE we can even think about loving them in a romantic sense. I will be the first to admit, it’s not easy ~ I want to be loved (romantically) NOW! But. But, how can I expect romance to last, if it not backed by the agape-type of love? So, application number one is to apply agape to everyone you know.
The second application has to do with the loneliness we single ones are bound to experience on Valentine’s Day. After all, it can hit you a little hard; the fact that you don’t have someone to spend that special day with. Or do you? God has said “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” [Joshua 1:5] So we aren’t truly alone, even though it may feel like it at the time. Let me share a secret with you; no, no, come a little closer, I’m going to whisper it.
GOD LOVES YOU MORE THAN ANYONE ON EARTH EVER COULD. HE LOVES YOU MORE THAN ALL THE ROSES AND CHOCOLATES COULD EVER MEAN.
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| Some of the blue flowers. |
What? You don’t think that God’s love can fill the lack-of-romance void? Let me tell you about something ~ Last summer I felt rather alone. I still didn’t have a man in my life, and none of the good guys seemed to notice me as anything more than a sister in Christ (not that any of that has changed). Feeling kind of down, I walked into the field that holds my praying place. As I walked, I prayed, “Lord, I know that You are supposed to be sufficient for me, during this time of waiting, but I still feel so alone. God, I’ve never even received flowers from a man; I would love to have someone who would send me flowers.” I continued walking through grass and around cactus as I prayed. Then I got to my praying place and looked; the entire space was filled with blue and yellow wildflowers, where there had only been grass a few days before! God was telling me that He really can fill every need that I have, all the way down to flowers! God has love letters and cards covered as well. All you have to do is read the book that He wrote for us (the Bible).
God has been teaching me to lean on Him in my weakness (the longing for a husband), and you know what? When my focus is on God, I don’t feel alone ~ I feel blessed - loved – cherished. This single girl is going to spend Valentine’s Day in the arms of her loving Abba.
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.” ~2 Corinthians 1:3-5
